Displaying your core values to the world.
When considering the values that I display or enjoy the most in everyday life I decided to separate them into two categories, and limit them to five values each. The ideas of happiness, pride, and satisfaction overlap in many ways, as do some of their corresponding values, but they roughly fall into two separate groupings.
Proudest/Most Satisfied
Accomplishment and Challenge
I get a thrill of satisfaction when I accomplish something. For me this goes hand in hand with challenge as the greater the challenge, the greater the sense of accomplishment. I fenced A strip saber (sort of like first chair for an orchestra instrument) in one collegiate competition because I was the extra epee fencer and neither of the other two saber fencers wanted to fence the hardest bouts. When I won one bout I felt very accomplished because I had only picked up a saber literally once before. While that perhaps says something about the quality of women's saber in New England, it was nevertheless a great challenge and great accomplishment for me.
I don't see these values as something that can be lived up to exactly, though when I have a choice I do try to choose things that are not too easy for me.
Independence and Self-reliance
Independence and self-reliance are two values that go hand in hand for me. While I do agree with the George Bernard Shaw quote that, “‘Independence’... [is] middle-class blasphemy. We are all dependent on one another, every soul of us on earth” I also believe that you should try to do as much as you can on your own. Seeking help and relying on others is perfectly acceptable and unavoidable, but if you're at all able you should be willing to try. To give a concrete example of this juxtaposition, when I needed to replace the hinges on my laptop I did some independent research and took my computer apart (and put it back together) by myself. I wouldn't have gotten anywhere if people at Lenovo hadn't put together an extensive laptop user guide for the model I had, or if someone hadn't posted an assessment of the best inexpensive hinges to use. In the end I used a combination of input from others and independent reliance on what I could do to accomplish this particular challenge.
Integrity
I'm not so foolish as to think that I'm flawless in my everyday behavior, but I try to maintain a sense of integrity in what I do out of a respect for both myself and others. Acting otherwise cheats everybody out of their fullest potential. It may work to one person's advantage (usually your own) in the short term, but when looking at the big picture or long-term view integrity usually has the best lasting effects.
Happiest
Creativity and Music
For me creativity overlaps with accomplishment and challenge. I get the same thrill of satisfaction when I see the result of something that I have created with my own two hands, whether that product is physical like a drawing or sculpture, or virtual like a website. I am far from a great artist and my web skills are nascent, but knowing that I had a hand in creating something makes me happy. Though I'm not a songwriter, I do sing in a choir (not to mention at home). I include music here because I consider it a similar kind of creative process that makes me beyond happy to be a part of.
Economic Security
Few people in this world are immune to the allure of economic security, and I am not one of them. I am not a big spender, but coming from a field (teaching) where economic security is relatively non-existent, having economic security makes me happy because it allows me the freedom to pursue basic wants (such as music) beyond basic needs.
Location
The right place can instantly put a smile on my face, and the right place usually involves green. I'm a city girl born and raised, but I was raised in a part of Washington, DC where there were a lot of trees and parks. Living in a more crowded area is not a deal-breaker, but if I'm feeling stressed or weary open space and clean air can turn me around even without dealing with the stressors. I have not spent much time near the ocean, but it tends to have a similar effect. If I can't jet out to Nova Scotia or Ireland or some equally beautiful place, photos can help.
Knowledge
My friends know me as a bit of a trivia-fiend, always ready to spout some relevant piece of knowledge. I enjoy knowing things simply because I find them interesting. I credit graduate school and teaching with sanding down any rough edges and making my fondness of knowledge about sharing what I'm passionate about, not about lording it over other people.
Giving Advice
Recently someone asked me my advice on how to deal with someone who was lacking in integrity and self-reliance. I said that, while it was important to be clear that such behavior was unacceptable, they should also emphasize that correcting this behavior was not about punishment but about personal improvement. I suggested that they set some basic showable goals that the person could meet consistently before moving on to more demanding behavior. Expecting a instant turn-around to a perfect attitude is unrealistic. Setting goals of increasing rigor make it more likely that change will be lasting and not just a rare occurrence.
Values and Stereotype Threat
I think that the underlying trend in my values of self-reliance and a positive viewpoint that emphasizes growth is a beneficial mindset when confronted with stereotype threat. When I feel myself falling into self-doubt I should stop and remind myself that if I do happen to be deficient in the topic at hand it is not a black mark against my soul but an opportunity to learn. If it's groundless self-doubt I can fall back on past examples of strength and accomplishment as inspiration to push through it.